Not going to lie, being emotionally and mentally unwell can really suck. However, I must say that these experiences have given me so much insight into how the human mind interacts with the world. And it’s fascinating to look back and know that those dark days have given you stories that could be of service to others.
If you’ve followed my journey for a while, you would know that I’ve spoken about my past experiences with depression, anxiety, to eating disorders. Along my way of getting out of the murkiest of waters, I’ve certainly learned a few handy tricks in case I fall back in.
And to bring light to World Mental Health Day this October 10, I wanted to paint you a picture of a few valuable lessons illness has taught me about wellness.
Lessons mental illness has taught me about wellness
Perhaps you’re in the thick of your dark clouds. Maybe you know someone who’s struggling. Or even if you’re an average Joe going through the motions of life. Regardless, these little learnings are things you can carry in your pocket when life gets rough.
1) You’re a person, not a diagnosis
As humans, we love labels. They’re our mind’s default way of making sense of ourselves and the world.
No doubt, it’s helpful to be conscious about our medical-, or even self-diagnosis. However, I’m here to remind you that you’re so much more than a label, illness, or symptom. Even though it can indeed feel like these pains take the spotlight when you’re in the thick of it.
Having depression does not mean you are depression. Just like how having the flu doesn’t mean you are the flu.
The bottom line is we all have passions and quirks that are completely separate from our diagnoses. Hold on to them with your dear life, especially on your darkest days. For instance, I may have experienced some awful things. But I’m also a daughter, sister, I love window shopping in IKEA, and a good pastry 🥐.
2) Your wellness is your responsibility
I must admit. There were times where I put the blame on my circumstances or on the people that have negatively impacted me. But the harsh truth was that I was just waiting for the world to change so that I don’t have to.
Don’t like where I was? Change or make changes to the environment.
Didn’t like how I was being treated? Create distance or inform them of your concerns.
These changes don’t require exuberant amounts of money or resources. They only required me to stand up, take one small step, and build upon it. Ultimately, this personal responsibility means to free yourself from being a hostage to your circumstances.
Even though your wounds aren’t your fault, your healing is your responsibility
3) Relapse is normal and sometimes even necessary
Every challenge, every adversity, contains within it the seeds of opportunity and growth
Roy T. Bennett, author of The Light in the Heart.
In the beginning stages of recovery, experiences of relapse were extremely frequent. Despite the brutality of these falls, looking back at them made me realize how necessary they were.
You learn about your triggers, your unhealthy coping mechanisms. Eventually, you discover tiny ways to reverse engineer the things that don’t serve you. You also learn to create cushions so that the next fall wouldn’t be too painful.
4) Wellness is multidimensional
Illness has taught me that wellness is multidimensional. It really is the work of the mind, body, soul, and environment. Hence, finding wellness requires us to get curious about the different angles and aspects of our lifestyle, our mindsets, and our relationships.
This was extremely clear to me because my mental turmoil began manifesting into physical symptoms (eating disorders really screw your systems over). From gastric issues, skin inflammations, to chronic fatigue. These ails were a result of me allowing external demands to drive me to all-rounded self-deprecation. In psychology, we coin this as the biopsychosocial factors of wellbeing.
Therefore, to properly address the host of pains, I needed to re-assess my relationship with my mental, physical, environmental and spiritual needs. Which includes finding balance, understanding boundaries, and developing better relationships with both myself and others.
Closing thoughts…
I know all too well. It takes indispensable courage to drag yourself out of bed when dark clouds weigh you down. To stay firm on your ground when your anxiety urges you to take flight. To function when your medications make you numb and sluggish.
And if you’re currently going through something, know that these struggles don’t diminish your worth. If anything, it makes you braver.
At the end of the day, the only way to heal was to understand. To develop the wisdom to know that you need to take responsibility. And to nurture the humility to seek help.
