Defining happiness
Happiness is simply defined as the state of being happy. I’d like you to take a mental note of the being in “being happy”.
The flawed concept of “achieving happiness”
People tend to misconstrue the concept of “being happy” into “achieving happiness”. The former means happiness is already a part of you – you technically just have to be it. The latter conforms to the notion that happiness will be achieved upon reaching a certain milestone.
Unfortunately, achieving happiness is an illusion built upon capitalistic societal expectations. We’ve been taught from a young age that we’ll be happy if we’re successful, rich, fit, and so on. As a result, we’re constantly on a treadmill to achieve everlasting happiness – when there’s no such thing. This illusion is further reinforced by surges of temporary emotional highs when presented with external rewards.
The happiness treadmill
Billion-dollar industries are infamously known for preaching the association between consumerism and happiness. For example, Coca-Cola’s “Open Happiness” campaign reinforces the idea that joy is felt upon consuming a can of coke.
While we do indeed feel a whoosh of pleasure when buying the new iPhone or meeting a new partner, this dopamine surge is bound to dissipate. Psychologists Brickman and Campbell called this “hedonic adaptation”, where people return to a baseline level of happiness regardless of any event. Hedonic adaptation was later coined the “hedonic treadmill” by Michael Eysenck as a more understandable term.
Why we should get off the treadmill of achieving happiness
1. It reduces everyday contentment
Constantly running on this treadmill can dampen our ability to experience everyday joy. Iris Mauss of UC Berkeley conducted a study where participants rated on statements such as “I value things in life only to the extent that they influence my personal happiness”. We might assume high scorers to also be happier individuals. However, results found that they were less satisfied with their lives. They were also more prone to depressive symptoms even in low-stress times.
2. It distorts our perceptions of time
The modern concept of FOMO is a classic example of our distorted perception of time. It’s a symptom typically experienced by the younger generation, where we feel like we’re wasting time when doing “less exciting” or “less important” activities.
Researchers at the University of Toronto presented a relatively boring film to their participants, which endorsed that “time is slipping away”. Similar findings were demonstrated when they listed 10 activities that might contribute to their happiness. Reminding them of all they could be doing to improve their life put them in a state of panic, as they recognized how little time they had to achieve it all.
How to actually be happy
1. Get off the treadmill
If you want to be truly happy, you need to stop trying to run towards the illusion of it. Instead of racing to the right end of the happiness spectrum, raise your baseline as a whole. This is done by seeing yourself as a happy person even with the failures and pain you experience in life. Ultimately, happiness is not something you achieve, it’s something you become.
2. Embrace the fluidity of happiness
Happiness comes in many forms and is fluid to change. What you think will bring you joy today may look very different from tomorrow. And perhaps what you thought would make you happy, could end up feeling different. Therefore, instead of feeling like happiness is always dancing out of your grasp, embrace it dancing within you in its varying forms.
3. Mental contrasting
While positive visualization has been popularized, it only touches surface-level and temporary joy. Instead, combine visions of success with a deliberate analysis of potential hurdles. This practice of mental contrasting increases satisfaction in the long run because we are emotionally ready us to better cope with challenges.
Concluding thoughts…
Just like every young adult, I often find myself searching for the next great adventure, career breakthrough, or magical relationship. While dreams and ambitions give us purpose and meaning, we need to re-evaluate when our happiness latches onto the outcomes instead of the journey. This may be especially important in the pandemic. As the peaks in our mood may be few and far between, a simple appreciation of the small pleasures amid the stress could help ease us through the day-to-day anxieties.
