in.sight
a newsletter for the eyes of the mind
SERIES 01 | ISSUE 07
If you cannot decide, the answer is no
Everyone makes it up as they go along. You have to find your own path, picking, choosing, and discarding as you see fit. Figure it out, and do it.
– Naval Ravikant, Indian-American entrepreneur and investor.
Let me tell you what I really suck at: saying “no”. It’s a tiny word. Two letters apiece. Yet I try to avoid it like the plague.
I spoke about rejection a few newsletters ago, that was brutal. Not long after writing that piece life decided to turn the tables. I was sitting in front of two job offers and obviously I had to turn one down. As a chronic people-pleaser, that was just as excruciating. The days and hours leading up to that email were a turmoil. However, here are a few mindtricks that helped make the process a little more graceful and less gruelling.
1) Assess the long-term outcome of saying “yes”
Putting all the pros and cons for each decision on paper. This gives you a clearer picture on what how each decision will impact your life down the line.
2) Reframe what “no” means to you
We’ve been taught that saying “no” is a bad thing to do. That it’s hurtful and it means sitting out on life-changing opportunities. The reality is, saying “no” isn’t equivalent to saying “I hate you”. If the proposed ask doesn’t suit your schedule or beliefs, saying “no” can actually do more good than harm, for both yourself and the other person.
3) Use “no” to strengthen the relationship
Of course, we shouldn’t be jerks when turning someone down. While we don’t have to fully explain why we’re declining, we can still thank them for their consideration and time. If you do want to offer help, suggest alternative ways of working or introduce someone you know. Whether the other person responds positively or negatively is their accord. However, a respectful closure is paramount. This might be your chance to boost your integrity and the other person’s trust in you.
💝 noteworthy
Book: The Almanack Of Naval Ravikant
As a supplementary text to our topic today, this book highlights the decision-making process of Silicon Valley entrepreneur Naval Ravikant. Shared as a curation of his most insightful interviews and poignant reflections, you really get to understand how successful people affirm their worth, how they’re able to be so sure about what to prioritize and what to discard. All of which are crucial for authentic happiness to co-exist with contributional work.
😌 calm corner
Podcast: Naval Ravikant on Happiness, Reducing Anxiety, Crypto Stablecoins, and Crypto Strategy
If you’re not a reader, Naval’s interview on the Tim Ferris Show covers the basis of his book. If you’re struggling to make certain decisions in your life today, it’s pretty helpful to pick the brains of experienced individuals. Their insights can teach you how to walk your own unique path toward a happier, wealthier life.