Introduction
It’s easy to get caught up in the habit of gossip and blame. We condemn our colleagues, friends, and family about how they aren’t treating us fairly; Or we project our bad luck on external circumstances. All of which cause us to expend more than necessary energy reacting to what we cannot control.
But how often do we stop and reflect on our own behavior and reactions? Are we really working as efficiently as we’d like to be, are we treating others as fairly as we should, are we giving ourselves enough rest as we need?
We often use other people and external things as emotional scapegoats, but ultimately, many of our shortcomings require us to confront our unconscious biases and limiting beliefs. Or in harsher terms, calling out on our own bullshit.
The Benefits of Calling Yourself Out
1. You take ownership of your life
Many of us are trapped by the belief that other people are responsible for our misfortunes. Although the hurt exuded by others is very much valid, we need to be careful overindulging in victim mentality. Constantly allowing other people or situations to call the shots over your emotions only draws you further away from true freedom. While objectively confronting hurtful situations and taking ownership isn’t easy, it will make you more empowered to take control of your own life.
“The moment you accept total responsibility for everything in your life is the day you claim the power the change anything in your life.”
Hal Elrod
2. You reinforce integrity
It’s easy to point fingers or to shove the mess under the rug in hopes no one notices the error. However, blame and complacency degrades your integrity and responsibility. It’s okay to make mistakes, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s reversible or not. By simply being transparent about the problem, you enhance trust within your relationships. Who knows, people around you may even extend a helping hand.
3. You detach your worth from your shortcomings
It may seem paradoxical, as calling yourself out may seem self-sabotaging. But the reality is, if we can’t accurately perceive how our behaviors and reactions influence our outcomes, we will always feel like our self-worth is dependent on an uncontrollable reality. Calling out on our own bullshit transfers our locus of control from the external to the internal. It’s about noticing our own unhelpful behaviors and giving ourselves the authority and permission to make better choices.
Concluding thoughts…
I’ve started to call out on my own bullshit a lot more. And to be honest, it has helped me find so much peace with others and within myself. I could’ve easily spent so much more time feeling resentful over how others’ choices have led to my shortcomings. However, by taking my mistakes into my own hands, I am putting my mental resources into actually finding solutions to my unhelpful behaviors.
No doubt, it can be difficult to honestly assess our behaviors and accept the responsibility we have for them. Our brains are inclined to create cognitive blind spots to shield our egos from blame, and in some cases, this is a necessary function. However, being able to take ownership of your mistakes is the only way to move the needle in your life. Because ultimately, the only thing we can ever control is our own actions and thoughts.
