Survival of the Mentally Fittest
Navigating the rough waters of life, we undoubtedly need insurmountable strength to get by. Before we can even build our abs and biceps through physical training, there is one very important muscle that has to come through first. And that is our trust muscle.
Trust is a Muscle
Just like any other muscle in our physical body, our trust muscle can only become stronger by exercising it consistently. As the physically fit radiate through their muscle definition, there’s a stark difference in the outlook of those who are self-trusting compared to those who struggle with insecurity.
People With Strong Trust Muscles
- practice clarity and confidence in their choices.
- practice a balance between asking for help and being independent.
- hold reasonable trust for themselves, the people around them, and the timing of events.
- don’t discriminate between good and bad experiences – everything is an opportunity for growth.
To Trust is To Show Up Regardless
Having Strong Trust Muscles Does Not Mean You Always:
- work at optimum performance.
- do the right thing
- have all the right answers
- meet your expectations.
Just like working out, you may have days where you can’t lift or run your personal best. Basically, it’s about accepting the nature of being biologically and psychologically human, and working around it to the best of your ability. Inevitably, we get sick, life gets in the way and there will be people who hurt us.
Hence, the core of having strong trust muscles is that you believe you can get back into the momentum again tomorrow. No matter the outcome today, or no matter how hard life hits you, you can still show up for yourself tomorrow with compassion and grace.
Trust Muscle Atrophy
Trust is supposedly as intuitive as movement. As a child, trusting feels as natural as running and playing. Unfortunately, most of us do not get the necessary training needed to build our trust muscle fibers. We might have even been subjected to circumstances that have handicapped us from developing our trust muscles altogether. Moreover, the atrophy of these muscles can severely impair your ability to walk through life. We make ourselves smaller and smaller because small means easy to protect and easy to hide.
Our Trust Muscles Deteriorate Through Experiences that
- Implant immense doubt towards ourselves and others.
- Reinforce self-critical and punishing thoughts when we make mistakes
- Teach us that problems indicate the end of the world
Photo by S Migaj on Pexels.com
How Do We Train Our Trust Muscle?
The smaller something is the easier it is to safeguard. But is it really? On the surface, playing small may seem like the easy way out of this cruel world. Unfortunately, scarcity of trust allows for other things to control our choices. So, how do we stop playing small and start developing self-trust?
1. Befriend the Inner Critic
Oftentimes, our inner critic develops when the essence of our soul does not align with societal expectations or cultural conditioning. Overcoming that critical voice requires us to stay true to our soul’s purpose and to rebuild a trusting relationship with ourselves. Overcoming does not mean fighting but instead understanding those insecurities on a deeper level. Establishing a productive way of communicating with our inner critic is foundational to strengthening our trust muscles.
2. Build Momentum by Starting Small and Staying Consistent
When people come to me about fitness, my first answer would be to ‘start small and stay consistent’. And it applies the same to developing self-trust.
Momentum is magic and it usually doesn’t take much to establish it. For example, you could start being more decisive about what to order from the menu; or which design of clothing you decide to purchase.
People with low self-trust often feel like “they’ve made the wrong choice”. Be aware when that feeling arises and don’t question yourself. Trust that the wrong choices only come at the right time and for the right reasons.
When you start to feel the shift in your sense of security, you’ll be able to make the bigger choices in life without being consumed by the fear of the wrong outcome.
3. Invalidate of the Constant Need for Validation
In an age of streamlining information and infinity pools of feedback, we consume contradictory information first thing in the morning up until before we go to bed. Being able to access knowledge at the tip of our fingers creates a dependence on external information to validate our opinions, beliefs, and abilities. Ultimately, external validation leads to a fragile sense of self-identity. To find a balance between validation and confirmation, we need to be aware of how we digest online content and how we let external information sway us.
Concluding Thoughts
Just as working your physical muscles at the gym involves working through blood, sweat, and tears. You develop your trust muscles through consistent mental strength training. It’s a lifelong journey, but there’s always a stronger outcome for you in the end.
