Have you ever caught yourself thinking about work at home, and then thinking about home at work? And then beat yourself up for not achieving perfect “work-life balance”?
The concept of “work-life balance” was created to resolve the copious issues associated with burnout and stress. This article isn’t meant to discount the severity of work burnout and employee exploitation. However, if achieving balance is putting you off balance, it may be time to reconsider whether this is still a worthy pursuit.
Three Problems with Work Life Balance
Instilling this idea of a “perfect” dissociation between work and life implies that these two things lie on two opposite ends of the spectrum. That we need to achieve this perfect equilibrium to truly be happy. Or that work is all bad and life is all good. However, glorifying a dichotomized line between work and life has risen to some of its own problems:
It’s Not a One-Time Quick Fix
Work-life balance is an ongoing cycle, not a linear see-saw. Or a single cure to work stress. Imagine trying to always maintain a perfect balance on a scale. Constantly ensuring that both sides hold an equal amount of weight. It can be exhausting. An example would be forcing yourself to give your best at work every day and then show up equally for your family. It’s can quickly become a highway to disaster and you’ll never feel like you’re measuring up.
Body at Home, Mind at Work
We’re all familiar with this: Physically, we’re at home. But mentally we’re processing things that happened at work. Without addressing your underlying unhealthy stress, you’ll still feel frazzled by the end of the day. Ultimately, the discussion of work-life balance is actually a proxy to more contentment and less stress. And it’s more than conscientiously splitting up your 24 hours between work and everything else.
Work and Life are Unpredictable
Infinite external factors make achieving a perfect equilibrium a fairy-tale. We get sick, our productivity levels vary each day, anything could happen at work and at home. These ever-evolving factors can make sustaining a hypothetical work-life balance feel almost like an illusion.
What to do instead?
Play with the ebb and flow
Tired of standing one-legged on the work-life Bosu ball? Well, simply step off and ground yourself to the serendipitous nature of life. Life gets busy but there will also be some leisurely times. Sometimes work is indeed awful, but there are also moments you feel inspired. Embrace these spindles of busyness and calm, and you’re good to go.
Assess your beliefs
When we attach too much of our identity to our profession, we unconsciously submerge beliefs such as “I’m a professional and my career is my life”. Ask yourself if these beliefs are stressing you out more than they should. Same when we attach ourselves too much in our roles at home, such as “I have to be the perfect parent”.
Mindful mindlessness
I used to feel extremely guilty about taking time off. But mindfully engaging in “mindless” moments is actually beneficial for restoring your metal fuel tank. I personally love watching romcoms or going for walks to step away from reality for a little bit.
No FOMO
Happy hours, group bonding sessions, community yoga classes aren’t your thing? Don’t force yourself to fit into trendy balance activities if they don’t appeal to you. Instead, do what genuinely recharges you. Don’t let FOMO stop you from cultivating your best self.
Concluding thoughts…
Managing burnout is extremely important. But it’s possible to do so without achieving a perfect work-life balance. Accepting that we’re on the wrong side of the see-saw can sometimes be better than exhaustively trying to force a shaky equilibrium. And to help with perspective, the conversation about work-life balance is actually a very privileged one. The pandemic alone has created an era of calamitous job loss. 255 million jobs worldwide being slashed, and more jobs going obsolete due to AI. Reflecting on this softened my stance on work-life balance too.
